I've been wondering a lot lately if its possible to live a life without regrets. I think regret is such a powerful emotion that it terrifies people. So I understand wanting to live without it. However, I came to the conclusion that its not possible. I don't think its the worst thing imaginable to shoot for, but I can also think of a hundred other things that are more worth our energy.
The people out there who say they have no regrets are lying. Its a little bit conceited actually. Expressing that could either be taken as, "I've never done anything wrong, I've never hurt anyone physically, or emotionally, I've never been selfish or immoral or rude" or it could mean, "Yeah I've done those things, but it doesn't matter, I don't care, I've over it". Neither option is an ideal life outlook in my opinion.
Have you ever noticed that typically people make those grandiose claims of "no regrets" right after they've done something that they probably should regret? I think its often used as a way to shun responsibilities for one's own actions, or to avoid dealing with complex emotions. Because regret truly is a complex emotion. Regret can sometimes feel like guilt, it can sometimes feel like a version of your conscience, it can sometimes transition to embarrassment, or anger, or sadness. Regret is complicated because it can attach itself to multiple outcomes of a choice. There are people who regret doing certain things, and there are people who regret not doing certain things, and obviously these overlap. Apparently its the latter, the regret of actions that never came to pass, that is the most destructive. At least that's what I've heard. I can certainly identify with that kind of regret. I've made an art out of not doing things I would come to regret, and regrets come anyways.
But I think there's can be an upside to regrets, they can teach you something, some life lesson. So I think living life and learning is best. Trying to live life without regrets is probably futile, and saying you have no regrets is ignorant. This is life, mistakes will be made, regrets are inevitable. I think it is better to deal with those regrets so that you can avoid piling up more regrets of the same nature.
Summary: live life, learn from your mistakes, learn from other people's mistakes. Don't walk on eggshells through your life, in the hopes of no regrets. Also don't steamroll through your life with a neon sign saying "Whatever I do, I do with no regrets". And don't be so blind as to think you've never done anything in your life worth regretting, because you have...and I have too. That's the other thing about regrets, its a worldwide phenomenon. We've all got em. Fess up.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Garden
In the Garden of Eden, after God had created man and given him everything, there was a test. It was a test of trust, faith, and obedience. It came in the form of one rule, one exception to the everything. Do not eat from one tree, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil." Genesis 2:16-17.
See the thing is, I think I decided to play this game with God....God this is the garden of my life, and its yours. I trust you with everything.....ooooh except for this one tree. But in the grand scheme of things that's not so bad right? You can have all the other trees, and animals and what not, just leave that tree and the birds in it alone. I even built a fence around it so you would remember which tree is off limits.
So God and I have been playing that game for the past few years. But I've recently gotten the sense that neither of us are entirely satisfied with the arrangement. God and I decided to take a walk through the garden of my life and re-evaluate this tree situation.
God pointed out a few things to me. That tree that I was holding onto so close and personal actually wasn't doing so well. The birds were eating all the fruit, and it kind of had this barren look. Not a "its autumn and the leaves are falling off" kind of look. More of a "that thing might actually be dying" appearance. It was a little bit discouraging.
God told me "This tree needs a lot of work. Its not thriving, its barely alive. But its far from hopeless. I'm going to have to trim some branches, and get rid of those birds. But lets just take things slow and start by taking down the fence and letting me come closer. You may not understand what I'm doing, but I promise it will be more alive and more beautiful everyday you let me work on it."
Soooo I gave God the tree. I'm pretty happy with the decision.
I am released in this surrender
I am free in your captivity
Held not by chains, but by choice
This is peace I've never known
God is enough. "For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20
See the thing is, I think I decided to play this game with God....God this is the garden of my life, and its yours. I trust you with everything.....ooooh except for this one tree. But in the grand scheme of things that's not so bad right? You can have all the other trees, and animals and what not, just leave that tree and the birds in it alone. I even built a fence around it so you would remember which tree is off limits.
So God and I have been playing that game for the past few years. But I've recently gotten the sense that neither of us are entirely satisfied with the arrangement. God and I decided to take a walk through the garden of my life and re-evaluate this tree situation.
God pointed out a few things to me. That tree that I was holding onto so close and personal actually wasn't doing so well. The birds were eating all the fruit, and it kind of had this barren look. Not a "its autumn and the leaves are falling off" kind of look. More of a "that thing might actually be dying" appearance. It was a little bit discouraging.
God told me "This tree needs a lot of work. Its not thriving, its barely alive. But its far from hopeless. I'm going to have to trim some branches, and get rid of those birds. But lets just take things slow and start by taking down the fence and letting me come closer. You may not understand what I'm doing, but I promise it will be more alive and more beautiful everyday you let me work on it."
Soooo I gave God the tree. I'm pretty happy with the decision.
I am released in this surrender
I am free in your captivity
Held not by chains, but by choice
This is peace I've never known
God is enough. "For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
That Kind of Person
You know the kind of person that everyone wants to be around? The kind of person that makes every interaction worthwhile, and after every conversation you walk away encouraged? You know the kind of person that you rarely catch without a smile? The kind of person who feels the right emotion at the right time, and when in doubt they opt for happiness? You know the kind of person who makes each friendship feel like the most important one? The kind of person who's really too busy to spend time with you, but does anyways because they make people a priority? Do you know someone who is so real, and at peace with themselves? Someone who is willing to admit to their shortcomings, but because of you they are you don't notice any, and if you did you would never point them out? Do you know someone who actually inspires you and challenges you to become the best version of yourself? I don't know very many people like that. I'm fortunate to have a few in my life. You're one of them, so thanks for being that kind of person.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
What's This? A Sign of Emotion?
Lately I have been experiencing stress that is unparalleled since the days of piano exams, and grade 3 baseball games. These were events that would reduce even the best part of me to a timid, self-conscious ball of nerves. And something in my life now, and I'm pretty sure I know what, is causing a reawakening of this weaker me. Since I have been self-diagnosed with a disorder of perpetually medium emotions, I have been questioning what could cause the destabilizing of a person who is usually so unstressed.
I am convinced it has something to do with the fact my pride and I are a little too tight. The thought of my pride getting hurt is apparently too much for me to handle.
Perhaps humility is in fact the ultimate cure for stress. Humility, I am learning is not a devaluing of oneself, but rather the correct allocation of one's worth, and the precise view of one's talents and actions. A view that is neither heightened to pride, nor diminished ti self-loathing. Humility is knowing one's true abilities and still directing credit to the creator.
So, new plan. I am going to carry myself in humility, realizing that the smaller my pride, the closer to the ground I'll be, and the less it will hurt should I fall.
I am convinced it has something to do with the fact my pride and I are a little too tight. The thought of my pride getting hurt is apparently too much for me to handle.
Perhaps humility is in fact the ultimate cure for stress. Humility, I am learning is not a devaluing of oneself, but rather the correct allocation of one's worth, and the precise view of one's talents and actions. A view that is neither heightened to pride, nor diminished ti self-loathing. Humility is knowing one's true abilities and still directing credit to the creator.
So, new plan. I am going to carry myself in humility, realizing that the smaller my pride, the closer to the ground I'll be, and the less it will hurt should I fall.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Look at Your Wake
So there's this boat. And its a pretty decent boat, inboard/outboard motor, 250 hp, mint condition. This is your boat, and you are pretty pleased with it. So, you take your boat out, and warm her up, and you're cruising, and life is good. You hit some waves but you go right on through them without looking back.
There's a bunch of other boats out on the water today, but you're more in the mood for lots of open water. So you bypass them all with a burst of speed as your greeting.
Your tank is running low and so you head towards the closest marina to fuel up. Your are really running low so you speed toward the dock and a marina employee runs out to assist you. You pull up to the dock and the guys says,
"Man! What are you doing? Look at your wake!"
And you're thinking, "what the heck is a wake"? So you give the guy a blank stare and he points behind you. You look back and discover just what a wake is, and what it can do. Turns out as far as wakes go, your boat's got a pretty big one. The surrounding boats in the marina are being hit by your wake and smash against their docks. You realize how wide your wake is, how far it reaches and how long its affects last. You can even follow your wake back aways, still marked by bubbles, churning water, and smaller waves rolling out the sides. Thinking back you realize you've had this wake ever since you started up this boat, and your desire for open water meant you had to rock a few boats to get there.
This boat is your life.
Look at your wake.
There's a bunch of other boats out on the water today, but you're more in the mood for lots of open water. So you bypass them all with a burst of speed as your greeting.
Your tank is running low and so you head towards the closest marina to fuel up. Your are really running low so you speed toward the dock and a marina employee runs out to assist you. You pull up to the dock and the guys says,
"Man! What are you doing? Look at your wake!"
And you're thinking, "what the heck is a wake"? So you give the guy a blank stare and he points behind you. You look back and discover just what a wake is, and what it can do. Turns out as far as wakes go, your boat's got a pretty big one. The surrounding boats in the marina are being hit by your wake and smash against their docks. You realize how wide your wake is, how far it reaches and how long its affects last. You can even follow your wake back aways, still marked by bubbles, churning water, and smaller waves rolling out the sides. Thinking back you realize you've had this wake ever since you started up this boat, and your desire for open water meant you had to rock a few boats to get there.
This boat is your life.
Look at your wake.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A Year of Rain
Its been raining like this for days. It feels like its been raining like this forever. Its the kind of rain that soaks you to the bone in an instant. Its the kind of rain that makes you forget there ever was a sun. Alone in this storm you wonder what can be done. Thoughts of the future swirl around inside your head. Knowledge that the rain will stop, and that the seasons will change. But then again, the seasons always change, and they will continue to change and eventually a new rainy season will come. And what will you do then? And what will you do now?
Dance in this rain. Dance in the knowledge that this is only a season. And when the sky clears one day, and you realize the sun never left, you will see the aftermath of all that rain. You will see the new life, and the beauty, and the transformation that was happening even as the rain poured down.
"We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint"
Dance in this rain. Dance in the knowledge that this is only a season. And when the sky clears one day, and you realize the sun never left, you will see the aftermath of all that rain. You will see the new life, and the beauty, and the transformation that was happening even as the rain poured down.
"We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint"
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
20/20
20 Things I've Learned in 20 Years
1. Sunshine improves moods
2. Water is the best
3. Encouragement is contagious...
4. So is complaining
5. Truth is not subjective
6. Laziness if a vicious cycle
7. A strong comparison can be made between the amount of times a day a guy thinks about sex, verses the amount of times a day a girl thinks about/eats chocolate.
8. Being the leader doesn't necessarily mean being the boss
9. Convictions are gifts with a purpose
10. You almost always have a choice
11. Loneliness and singleness are not synonymous
12. No one actually knows what they're doing
13. The things we need are often the things we forget we have
14. Someone needs to be the mom
15. Someone needs to do crazy things and embarrass themselves and make mistakes
15.5 Sometimes they need to be the same person
16. The present should be where 99% of our focus is
17. Coincidences usually aren't coincidences
18. Daydreaming is dangerous
19. People have their "biggest fear", and then people have their biggest fear that they'll never admit to
20. God never does what you expect
1. Sunshine improves moods
2. Water is the best
3. Encouragement is contagious...
4. So is complaining
5. Truth is not subjective
6. Laziness if a vicious cycle
7. A strong comparison can be made between the amount of times a day a guy thinks about sex, verses the amount of times a day a girl thinks about/eats chocolate.
8. Being the leader doesn't necessarily mean being the boss
9. Convictions are gifts with a purpose
10. You almost always have a choice
11. Loneliness and singleness are not synonymous
12. No one actually knows what they're doing
13. The things we need are often the things we forget we have
14. Someone needs to be the mom
15. Someone needs to do crazy things and embarrass themselves and make mistakes
15.5 Sometimes they need to be the same person
16. The present should be where 99% of our focus is
17. Coincidences usually aren't coincidences
18. Daydreaming is dangerous
19. People have their "biggest fear", and then people have their biggest fear that they'll never admit to
20. God never does what you expect
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The (Camp) Book of Awesome
This summer, several staff members at camp crossroads were inspired to write a Camp Crossroads version of the book of awesome expressing the little daily things that make camp life awesome :) Here's what we came up with.....
Part 1: Meal time
- Vector at Breakfast
- BROWNIES!
- When rainbow sherbet is an ice cream option
- When the plates are so clean you don’t have to scrape
- Real cinnamon buns
- Pudding/jello eating contests
- Hopper/Scraper challenges
- Pizza twice in one week
- Missing taco salad or hamburgers/hot dogs for pulled pork at cook outs
- Cooks that sneak you extra portions
- Serving your own hot sauce/ketchup/butter etc
- Making your own.....anything
- Ruthie buns
- French press coffee days
Part 2: Summer Team
- When the guy/girl ratio works out perfectly in the prayer room
- Hitting a goose with a rock/arrow/firecracker or any other destructive object
- When Gabsy cliff jumps
- Contraband peanut products
- Frosted cupcake candle
- Experiments with Bowman
- Sit down prayers
- LIT pranks
Part 3: Cabin Leading
- A cabin that loves FOB and bedtime
- Kids week lights out at 8:50
- When all of your campers come up on the bus
- When you get your cabin cleaned before Saturday breakfast
- Breakfast in Bed/Cabin leader sleep in
- When you get your campers info and there is no medical history
- When the campers are old enough to hop and scrape by themselves
- When your cabin is woken up by the breakfast triangle
- When your campers make your bed for you during cabin clean up
- Prayer partners that run the show at bedtime
- Returning campers whose names you are excited to see on the list
- Having few enough campers in your cabin so that the bunk above you stays empty
- When cabin times are taken up by skits/tubing/blob/tuck shop
- No more skits youth week
- When lunch is short and FOB is long
- When campers plan their own skit
Part 4: Program Staff
- Group naps in the nook at FOB
- When the golf cart was just filled up with gas and it MOVES
- Activity periods off erryday
- The sigh of relief when your activity group is not called to clean the costume room
- Saradie
Part 5: When Andrew....
- Asks if anyone’s hungry
- Quickly closes a staff prayer
- Answers a fire call
- Encourages you
- Catches a goose
- Does song actions at the back of chapel
- Harmonizes hard to Happy Birthday
Part 6: Miscellaneous
- Dock spotting for the waterfront drill
- Listening to walkie talkie convos
- When the buses arrive/leave together
- When staff decide not to vocalize bouquets
- Mail (camp-o-grams or other)
- When its cold enough to wear a hoodie to breakfast
- When talent show is over/ Finding creative ways to evade talent show
- Matchmaking staff members
- Catching a couple while on ark shark
- Going to the craft hut and finding a black permanent marker that works
Part 1: Meal time
- Vector at Breakfast
- BROWNIES!
- When rainbow sherbet is an ice cream option
- When the plates are so clean you don’t have to scrape
- Real cinnamon buns
- Pudding/jello eating contests
- Hopper/Scraper challenges
- Pizza twice in one week
- Missing taco salad or hamburgers/hot dogs for pulled pork at cook outs
- Cooks that sneak you extra portions
- Serving your own hot sauce/ketchup/butter etc
- Making your own.....anything
- Ruthie buns
- French press coffee days
Part 2: Summer Team
- When the guy/girl ratio works out perfectly in the prayer room
- Hitting a goose with a rock/arrow/firecracker or any other destructive object
- When Gabsy cliff jumps
- Contraband peanut products
- Frosted cupcake candle
- Experiments with Bowman
- Sit down prayers
- LIT pranks
Part 3: Cabin Leading
- A cabin that loves FOB and bedtime
- Kids week lights out at 8:50
- When all of your campers come up on the bus
- When you get your cabin cleaned before Saturday breakfast
- Breakfast in Bed/Cabin leader sleep in
- When you get your campers info and there is no medical history
- When the campers are old enough to hop and scrape by themselves
- When your cabin is woken up by the breakfast triangle
- When your campers make your bed for you during cabin clean up
- Prayer partners that run the show at bedtime
- Returning campers whose names you are excited to see on the list
- Having few enough campers in your cabin so that the bunk above you stays empty
- When cabin times are taken up by skits/tubing/blob/tuck shop
- No more skits youth week
- When lunch is short and FOB is long
- When campers plan their own skit
Part 4: Program Staff
- Group naps in the nook at FOB
- When the golf cart was just filled up with gas and it MOVES
- Activity periods off erryday
- The sigh of relief when your activity group is not called to clean the costume room
- Saradie
Part 5: When Andrew....
- Asks if anyone’s hungry
- Quickly closes a staff prayer
- Answers a fire call
- Encourages you
- Catches a goose
- Does song actions at the back of chapel
- Harmonizes hard to Happy Birthday
Part 6: Miscellaneous
- Dock spotting for the waterfront drill
- Listening to walkie talkie convos
- When the buses arrive/leave together
- When staff decide not to vocalize bouquets
- Mail (camp-o-grams or other)
- When its cold enough to wear a hoodie to breakfast
- When talent show is over/ Finding creative ways to evade talent show
- Matchmaking staff members
- Catching a couple while on ark shark
- Going to the craft hut and finding a black permanent marker that works
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Storytime Again
Once upon a time there was a girl. A beautiful but modest, talented yet humble, strong and still gentle, kind of girl. The kind of person no one could find fault with.
There was also a boy of course. And some force seemed to have intertwined their lives. It seemed inevitable, like Simba and Nala. Of course nothing is really inevitable, and forces can be halted by exerting an equal and opposing force of stubbornness and blindness.
Refusing to heed expectations, and to submit to the force pulling him towards the girl, he turned his head, exercising his independence and free will. It was time that he chose his life for himself.
Not surprising, his life choices eventually brought him back to where he had first turned his head. Turning it back he realized the girl had gone, he had taken her presence for granted. In her absence he realized everyone was right all along. He had everything he wanted, before he even knew what he wanted.
This is the price of stubbornness, and this is a story that is thankfully not really at all related to me own life.
There was also a boy of course. And some force seemed to have intertwined their lives. It seemed inevitable, like Simba and Nala. Of course nothing is really inevitable, and forces can be halted by exerting an equal and opposing force of stubbornness and blindness.
Refusing to heed expectations, and to submit to the force pulling him towards the girl, he turned his head, exercising his independence and free will. It was time that he chose his life for himself.
Not surprising, his life choices eventually brought him back to where he had first turned his head. Turning it back he realized the girl had gone, he had taken her presence for granted. In her absence he realized everyone was right all along. He had everything he wanted, before he even knew what he wanted.
This is the price of stubbornness, and this is a story that is thankfully not really at all related to me own life.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Portrait of Singleness - The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
Singleness is my reality. Its the only reality I've ever known. Singleness is a blessing and a burden. Singleness is a state of being that everyone thinks they can relate to and comment on, but few actually can. Beneath faith and family, singleness is the next greatest contributor to making me who I am today.
Being single has had an effect on so much more than the realm of my "love life".
Singleness is never actually being able to love a chick flick or a love song without also secretly hating it. Singleness is stressing over who to bring to weddings and banquets. Its watching the expressions of relatives grow more concerned, confused and pitying each year. Its lots of third-wheeling with friends in relationships. Its dealing with an ever-increasing number of people trying to set you up. Its wishing for the same thing on every shooting star. Singleness is keeping a tight reign on your temper and tongue as people repeatedly tell you, "your time will come", "be patient", " I know what you're going through, I was single once", " maybe you should get out more", "Maybe you should start being the pursuer", " Maybe you should tone down your confidence and opinions, maybe you should tone down yourself". Singleness is learning the finite differences between the various levels of lonely. Singleness is learning to live with a low level of constant loneliness. And if you're not about the attention, and the wallowing, and the pity, then its also about pretending as if it doesn't get to you.
Singleness is finding your beauty and without without the input of a significant other. Singleness is forced independence that you learn to love. Singleness is developing a plan for your life that doesn't necessarily involved another person at any point. Singleness is keeping the dream alive, even though there's never been any glimmer of hope for the end of the singleness. Its trusting that God knows your heart and still feeling the need to remind him. Its waiting without a time limit. Its finding joy in every way that you possibly can to make up for the one way that you can't.
In some ways singleness has proved to be the best life coach, the best character builder there is. In some ways, singleness is my choice. It has been my choice not to date for the heck of it. It has been my choice to be a little traditional as far as gender roles are concerned. It has been my choice to have a few standards that I refuse to change.
So this is for all of you that who ever wondered why. For all of you who have ever told me of your relationship stresses and heard me reference singleness and its own challenges. For those of you who don't have any idea what singleness is. And for the optimist in me, this is a reminder of what this all meant, should me status ever change. This is just a brief depiction of my love/hate relationship with singleness.
Being single has had an effect on so much more than the realm of my "love life".
Singleness is never actually being able to love a chick flick or a love song without also secretly hating it. Singleness is stressing over who to bring to weddings and banquets. Its watching the expressions of relatives grow more concerned, confused and pitying each year. Its lots of third-wheeling with friends in relationships. Its dealing with an ever-increasing number of people trying to set you up. Its wishing for the same thing on every shooting star. Singleness is keeping a tight reign on your temper and tongue as people repeatedly tell you, "your time will come", "be patient", " I know what you're going through, I was single once", " maybe you should get out more", "Maybe you should start being the pursuer", " Maybe you should tone down your confidence and opinions, maybe you should tone down yourself". Singleness is learning the finite differences between the various levels of lonely. Singleness is learning to live with a low level of constant loneliness. And if you're not about the attention, and the wallowing, and the pity, then its also about pretending as if it doesn't get to you.
Singleness is finding your beauty and without without the input of a significant other. Singleness is forced independence that you learn to love. Singleness is developing a plan for your life that doesn't necessarily involved another person at any point. Singleness is keeping the dream alive, even though there's never been any glimmer of hope for the end of the singleness. Its trusting that God knows your heart and still feeling the need to remind him. Its waiting without a time limit. Its finding joy in every way that you possibly can to make up for the one way that you can't.
In some ways singleness has proved to be the best life coach, the best character builder there is. In some ways, singleness is my choice. It has been my choice not to date for the heck of it. It has been my choice to be a little traditional as far as gender roles are concerned. It has been my choice to have a few standards that I refuse to change.
So this is for all of you that who ever wondered why. For all of you who have ever told me of your relationship stresses and heard me reference singleness and its own challenges. For those of you who don't have any idea what singleness is. And for the optimist in me, this is a reminder of what this all meant, should me status ever change. This is just a brief depiction of my love/hate relationship with singleness.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Anticipation
In my experience I have found anticipation to be a wonderful tool. It can be a very useful emotion when channeled appropriately. However, I have also found that anticipation sometimes holds me back. When I have an event, or the end of an event to anticipating, it can be very motivating. When work piles up, or life gets tough its nice to have something to look forward to. But I'm guilty of taking it too far sometimes.
When I'm constantly anticipating the future I waste the potential of the present. There's days, like this one, when I look back and wonder if I was doing anything more than just existing? Did I do or say anything that mattered today? Was I an encouragement to anyone? Did I make the world better in any way? Did I show even the slightest glimpse of Christ through my words and actions? --- If not, then what a terrible use of my time. What an awful waste.
Sometimes I can't figure out whether I want to jump five years into the future or 5 years into the past. And I can't think of a worse outlook to have. How ungrateful is that for the time I'm given?!
I know I need to start getting better at living in the present,(though not for the present). Perhaps I'm worried that the one will turn into the other.
I know there is purpose in every single day, I'm just too busy anticipating tomorrow to search for it.
When I'm constantly anticipating the future I waste the potential of the present. There's days, like this one, when I look back and wonder if I was doing anything more than just existing? Did I do or say anything that mattered today? Was I an encouragement to anyone? Did I make the world better in any way? Did I show even the slightest glimpse of Christ through my words and actions? --- If not, then what a terrible use of my time. What an awful waste.
Sometimes I can't figure out whether I want to jump five years into the future or 5 years into the past. And I can't think of a worse outlook to have. How ungrateful is that for the time I'm given?!
I know I need to start getting better at living in the present,(though not for the present). Perhaps I'm worried that the one will turn into the other.
I know there is purpose in every single day, I'm just too busy anticipating tomorrow to search for it.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 10
Matching theory:
Successful couples aesthetically match. The concept of matching is something Laurel feels strongly about, but has a difficult time explaining. Obviously there is no definition of a “normal” person, everyone is abnormal, couples need to be abnormal in similar ways. Example 1: a guy with a mohawk, and an eyebrow piercing does not match a girl with light blonde hair and perfectly done makeup.
And this concludes our entertaining look into the mind of Laurel. I will leave you with just one last thought....a direct quote in fact.....Laurel’s way to remember her birthday:
“My birthday is two less days than a leap year in February in June”.
Successful couples aesthetically match. The concept of matching is something Laurel feels strongly about, but has a difficult time explaining. Obviously there is no definition of a “normal” person, everyone is abnormal, couples need to be abnormal in similar ways. Example 1: a guy with a mohawk, and an eyebrow piercing does not match a girl with light blonde hair and perfectly done makeup.
And this concludes our entertaining look into the mind of Laurel. I will leave you with just one last thought....a direct quote in fact.....Laurel’s way to remember her birthday:
“My birthday is two less days than a leap year in February in June”.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 9
PDA Theory
The level of appropriate PDA is on a continuum. If you as a couple, are only with one other person, then there is to be no PDA on any level, for the duration of that hangout, you and your significant other are NOTHING more than good friends. As the number of people grows, to ten or twenty people the level of PDA can progress to hand holding, and anything less than kissing on the lips. In a movie, minimal PDA is permitted, in the form of hand holding, and cuddling. The one exception to these limits on PDA is if you are somewhere far far away in a distant country away from everyone you every knew or would risk running into. If that is the case, please engage in as much PDA as possible, simply for the fun of it.
The level of appropriate PDA is on a continuum. If you as a couple, are only with one other person, then there is to be no PDA on any level, for the duration of that hangout, you and your significant other are NOTHING more than good friends. As the number of people grows, to ten or twenty people the level of PDA can progress to hand holding, and anything less than kissing on the lips. In a movie, minimal PDA is permitted, in the form of hand holding, and cuddling. The one exception to these limits on PDA is if you are somewhere far far away in a distant country away from everyone you every knew or would risk running into. If that is the case, please engage in as much PDA as possible, simply for the fun of it.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 8
Girls Night Out Theory
Prior to getting intoxicated, when women go out together they should have a discussion before hand of what decisions that want to make. Example: If a girl says she doesn’t even want to dance with a boy, then it is the job of her friends to not allow her to dance with any boys. Unfortunately, if a girl while sober, says she wants to hook up with every boy in the club, her girlfriends are under no obligation to stop this from happening when drunk. The exception of course being if you are the designated conscious, then you can get all up in her business.
Prior to getting intoxicated, when women go out together they should have a discussion before hand of what decisions that want to make. Example: If a girl says she doesn’t even want to dance with a boy, then it is the job of her friends to not allow her to dance with any boys. Unfortunately, if a girl while sober, says she wants to hook up with every boy in the club, her girlfriends are under no obligation to stop this from happening when drunk. The exception of course being if you are the designated conscious, then you can get all up in her business.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 7
Baby Theories Part B
Time of Birth/Conception Theory: it is important to plan out the birth of your child so that their birthday will fall during an ideal time of year. Not only should obvious factors be taken into account such avoiding a birth on public holidays such as Christmas, New Years, Easter etc. But it the ideal birthday will also fall somewhere in between the birthdays/anniversaries of other family members. As a general rule of thumb, birthdays in the summer months are safe from holidays, and provide you as a parent with cheap birthday party options such as a backyard pool party. Rule of Thumb 2: Keep birthdays at least 3 weeks apart from one another.
Time of Birth/Conception Theory: it is important to plan out the birth of your child so that their birthday will fall during an ideal time of year. Not only should obvious factors be taken into account such avoiding a birth on public holidays such as Christmas, New Years, Easter etc. But it the ideal birthday will also fall somewhere in between the birthdays/anniversaries of other family members. As a general rule of thumb, birthdays in the summer months are safe from holidays, and provide you as a parent with cheap birthday party options such as a backyard pool party. Rule of Thumb 2: Keep birthdays at least 3 weeks apart from one another.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 6
Baby Theories Section A
Name Theory: Naming a child is one of the most important decisions you will make. Not only does it affect your life, but it will affect your child’s life even after you die. Certain factors MUST be considered when deciding on a baby name. 1) The possibility of finding a nickname within the child’s name. Nickname’s are great, your child should have the option of presenting themself with their formal or nickname. It allows them to have 2 names to pick from throughout their life, and the choice will likely change with age. 2)The name you choose must be appropriate for the birth order your child is in. Example: if you like the name Steven, that is a great older brother name, but not a good younger brother name. Therefore, pray that your first born is a boy. 3) The name you choose must be appropriate or adaptable for all life stages. 4) Lastly, certain names coincide with certain times of year, obvious ones are Noel, April etc, however, all names have subtle indicators of seasons, or in the very least they can rule seasons out. Example: Laurel is not a fall name. It is probably not a winter name. It could be a summer name, it could be a spring name. Example 2: Megan is a transition month name, it is not a winter name, and it is not a summer name.
Name Theory: Naming a child is one of the most important decisions you will make. Not only does it affect your life, but it will affect your child’s life even after you die. Certain factors MUST be considered when deciding on a baby name. 1) The possibility of finding a nickname within the child’s name. Nickname’s are great, your child should have the option of presenting themself with their formal or nickname. It allows them to have 2 names to pick from throughout their life, and the choice will likely change with age. 2)The name you choose must be appropriate for the birth order your child is in. Example: if you like the name Steven, that is a great older brother name, but not a good younger brother name. Therefore, pray that your first born is a boy. 3) The name you choose must be appropriate or adaptable for all life stages. 4) Lastly, certain names coincide with certain times of year, obvious ones are Noel, April etc, however, all names have subtle indicators of seasons, or in the very least they can rule seasons out. Example: Laurel is not a fall name. It is probably not a winter name. It could be a summer name, it could be a spring name. Example 2: Megan is a transition month name, it is not a winter name, and it is not a summer name.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 5
60/40 Theory
At different stages in life you should always have a balance of 60/40. At a young age, the balance is 60% work (school etc.), and 40% fun. This continues through adolescence, young adulthood, until the age of 40. By the age of 40, a person is well established in their career, they have worked hard to get there, now they should enjoy their success, and the ratio switches to 40% work, 60% fun (stop working overtime, concentrate on family, travel). At the age of 60, the ratio switches again to 60% work 40% fun. Yes you are retired, but now you have to concentrate more on health, and finding ways to make your life purposeful. . The ratios also apply to the type of food consumption during those years (60% healthy 40% decliciousness).
At different stages in life you should always have a balance of 60/40. At a young age, the balance is 60% work (school etc.), and 40% fun. This continues through adolescence, young adulthood, until the age of 40. By the age of 40, a person is well established in their career, they have worked hard to get there, now they should enjoy their success, and the ratio switches to 40% work, 60% fun (stop working overtime, concentrate on family, travel). At the age of 60, the ratio switches again to 60% work 40% fun. Yes you are retired, but now you have to concentrate more on health, and finding ways to make your life purposeful. . The ratios also apply to the type of food consumption during those years (60% healthy 40% decliciousness).
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 4
5 Children Theory
1 child is bad news because they will be socially inept, bad at conflict resolution and spoiled. In addition, if the parents separate, the only child is the sole connection between both sides of the family.
2 children is bad because there is a good chance that they will not get along, and there will be constant direct competition.
3 children is bad because there is middle child syndrome, and likely there will be two that get along and one that is excluded, (often oldest and youngest get along).
4 children is bad because you are still running that chance that 3 will get along and 1 will be left out. However, 4 is an improvement from 3.
5 is ideal because: you can’t go higher because unless you have a rapist van, you cannot travel together. Also there is no way 4 will gang up on one, it will split up 2 and 3. There is also more of an age gap between youngest and oldest, therefore there are more older children around to mentor and take care of the younger siblings.
Sub Pet Theory A: Laurel knows that not every family can afford 5 children. One way to determine how many children you can afford is to think of whether you can also afford a pet. This does not mean you must purchase a pet, however if you have one child and you are financially stable enough to also support a pet, then you are able to handle most random, unexpected expenses in that child’s life. The concept is that for every child you have, you should be able to support that number of pets, and I mean real pets, like dogs. Example: If you have 4 children and want a fifth but you’re not sure if you can afford a fifth, you probably can’t because you would also need to be able to support a fifth hypothetical pet.
Sub Pet Theory B: When a child has their 6th or 7th birthday, it is a great idea to get your child a pet. A pet teaches your child about responsibility, and it gets them to be active. By 6 or 7, the child understands what it means to have a pet. Perhaps a good pet is a hamster. Naming a pet is also a real point of pride, by allowing your child to name their pet, it creates a strong association with that pet and increases the likelihood of a strong, continued dedication to that pet.
1 child is bad news because they will be socially inept, bad at conflict resolution and spoiled. In addition, if the parents separate, the only child is the sole connection between both sides of the family.
2 children is bad because there is a good chance that they will not get along, and there will be constant direct competition.
3 children is bad because there is middle child syndrome, and likely there will be two that get along and one that is excluded, (often oldest and youngest get along).
4 children is bad because you are still running that chance that 3 will get along and 1 will be left out. However, 4 is an improvement from 3.
5 is ideal because: you can’t go higher because unless you have a rapist van, you cannot travel together. Also there is no way 4 will gang up on one, it will split up 2 and 3. There is also more of an age gap between youngest and oldest, therefore there are more older children around to mentor and take care of the younger siblings.
Sub Pet Theory A: Laurel knows that not every family can afford 5 children. One way to determine how many children you can afford is to think of whether you can also afford a pet. This does not mean you must purchase a pet, however if you have one child and you are financially stable enough to also support a pet, then you are able to handle most random, unexpected expenses in that child’s life. The concept is that for every child you have, you should be able to support that number of pets, and I mean real pets, like dogs. Example: If you have 4 children and want a fifth but you’re not sure if you can afford a fifth, you probably can’t because you would also need to be able to support a fifth hypothetical pet.
Sub Pet Theory B: When a child has their 6th or 7th birthday, it is a great idea to get your child a pet. A pet teaches your child about responsibility, and it gets them to be active. By 6 or 7, the child understands what it means to have a pet. Perhaps a good pet is a hamster. Naming a pet is also a real point of pride, by allowing your child to name their pet, it creates a strong association with that pet and increases the likelihood of a strong, continued dedication to that pet.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 3
Breakup Theory
For every year that you are dating, you must take 2 months off from dating following a breakup. Example: if you have been dating for 3 years, you must wait 6 months until you date someone new.
For every year that you are dating, you must take 2 months off from dating following a breakup. Example: if you have been dating for 3 years, you must wait 6 months until you date someone new.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 2
Shower Theory
For the majority of individuals, showering is a daily event, during which 5-10+ minutes are spent standing idly. This time can be much better used doing squats while washing your body, lunges during face washing. Weights can be used in the shower for super ambitious individuals, especially while taking a bath. Process: shampoo, wash face + lunge, rinse with head fully back to also wash face, conditioner, soap body and squat, wash conditioner out of hair, shower head comes off of holder, adjust heat/pressure setting, and start from neck down rinsing soap off of body.
Sub Towel Theory: towels can be re-used, and can be cross used as both hair and body towels. However it is difficult to remember which side of the towel is for hair, therefore, the side with the tag is always the hair side.
For the majority of individuals, showering is a daily event, during which 5-10+ minutes are spent standing idly. This time can be much better used doing squats while washing your body, lunges during face washing. Weights can be used in the shower for super ambitious individuals, especially while taking a bath. Process: shampoo, wash face + lunge, rinse with head fully back to also wash face, conditioner, soap body and squat, wash conditioner out of hair, shower head comes off of holder, adjust heat/pressure setting, and start from neck down rinsing soap off of body.
Sub Towel Theory: towels can be re-used, and can be cross used as both hair and body towels. However it is difficult to remember which side of the towel is for hair, therefore, the side with the tag is always the hair side.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Laurel's Life Theories Part 1
I am currently in my week-of-death school wise, I haven't had time to sit down and write. However, tonight I decided to begin a mini-series on the very unique world view of my roommate Laurel. Laurel enjoys openly discussing her opinion and theories on life, some are logical and have my support, others are arbitrary and ridiculous. Regardless, they're all entertaining. So, to begin this is Laurel's Theories on Life Part 1, all views expressed are purely those of Laurel and do not necessarily reflect my own personal opinions and beliefs. I am aware that in a way, this mini-series goes against the very nature of my blog, that of sharing simply my own thoughts/experiences etc. But, I am hoping to extend, for a short time, the disclaimer of "This is Just Me", to "This is Just Us", because some of this stuff is really just too good not to share.
Laurel's 2 Year Dating Theory
Firstly, In a relationship, if someone asks the question “is this going somewhere?” The answer has to be “yes” otherwise said persons shouldn’t be dating. Second, after 2 years the answer to the question of marriage should be “yes”, that doesn’t mean marriage must immediately take place, but both parties need to mutually agree that you WANT to get married, otherwise you are wasting each other’s time, and opportunities to get into successful relationships. The only situational circumstances that apply are if one or both individuals are in highschool or in completely different places in life, example: one person graduated doing missions in the congo, the other starting undergrad in Canada. Additional reasoning is that: if you are in a 4 year relationship that fails, the next person you date will feel inadequate until they are also in a relationship with you for 4 years or longer.
Laurel's 2 Year Dating Theory
Firstly, In a relationship, if someone asks the question “is this going somewhere?” The answer has to be “yes” otherwise said persons shouldn’t be dating. Second, after 2 years the answer to the question of marriage should be “yes”, that doesn’t mean marriage must immediately take place, but both parties need to mutually agree that you WANT to get married, otherwise you are wasting each other’s time, and opportunities to get into successful relationships. The only situational circumstances that apply are if one or both individuals are in highschool or in completely different places in life, example: one person graduated doing missions in the congo, the other starting undergrad in Canada. Additional reasoning is that: if you are in a 4 year relationship that fails, the next person you date will feel inadequate until they are also in a relationship with you for 4 years or longer.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Happy Birthday
I don’t think I’ve ever been more happy for a birthday, especially since it isn’t mine. And even though it isn’t my own, I feel as if I have received quite a gift. The fact that the passing of this birthday had ever been in doubt, makes me appreciate it that much more. There was a time when the whole future seemed shaky, when every day felt like a gift. I remember when the colour left your face, and I remember the days when all we did was wait, for nothing, but hoped that maybe a hint of colour would come back. I remember preparing for the worst, I remember crying over the possibilities. But all those are, are memories. They are not our reality anymore, they are just remnants of what was, and what could have been. We’ve far from forgotten, there are daily reminders of what has changed, and what will never be the same. We don’t cry anymore though, not over these small things. You never did . You were so strong. You never gave up hope, you never thought the worst. You have taught me so much this year. You changed me world, dividing it. Dividing it into what is certain, and what is not. The people in my life were split, between those who wanted to know to know, and those who wanted to know to help. You taught me to listen, instead of speaking in uncertainty. You taught me how to wait, even when I didn’t know what I was waiting for. Even now, when we are so focused on what is still not right, you choose to concentrate on the small victories, on what has been regained, on getting so much of your life back. So I’m sure that you will celebrate your birthday, just as you have celebrated the 16 others. But I will celebrate your birthday with just a bit more enthusiasm this year. And everything birthday after this, even as the memories grow older, and the dosages grow smaller, I will remember how far we’ve come, and how blessed we are. Happy Birthday
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Perceptions
How can you be so closed minded? You are so confident that every one of your thoughts and beliefs is infallibly correct. That self-assurance is something I have both envied and loathed. How dare you judge so quickly and so harshly? How dare you judge at all? I cannot bring myself to see the world through your eyes. I'm afraid of what I might see when I look around. I'm afraid of what I might see in me. For surely I have not gone unnoticed. Surely you have also drawn conclusions about me as well. For years I have heard so many opinions escape your lips. I shudder to think at what stays locked inside your head. I shudder at how we were compared, likened to each other. This trait of yours, it is not something I wish to be acknowledged for. In the past there may have been truth in that, but I have worked to move past that. However, I feel as if you have no desire to do the same. Your 'ability' to judge gives you power. Perceived power that you do not want to relinquish. In your world perceptions are truth. As I watch you pass judgement on the nameless and strangers, I wonder again, how do you perceive me?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Rebecca
I’ve never met you. I’ve never even seen your face. But I know your name. And I know your grandfather, and my heart breaks for you.
Cancer. Inoperable. My mind can't even grasp that.
They said that there was a 5% chance of your survival once it attached to an organ. There was a 0% chance once it attached to three. The cancer in you has attached to six. You will never leave the hospital.
It seems so unfair that life is being stolen from you at such a young age. Seventeen, still a child. I am grateful that you were able to find love at such an age, and yet, that makes the loss that much greater.
As I teach your grandpa how to be a lifesaver, how tragic it is, that the only life that he cares about saving cannot be. How quickly I can forget that everyone has a story.
If I could look in your eyes, I wonder what I would see. Anger? Apathy? Acceptance? Are you afraid? I find myself praying for a miracle, and I wonder how many other prayers are being lifted up for you. And I wonder how much time you have left.
Cancer. Inoperable. My mind can't even grasp that.
They said that there was a 5% chance of your survival once it attached to an organ. There was a 0% chance once it attached to three. The cancer in you has attached to six. You will never leave the hospital.
It seems so unfair that life is being stolen from you at such a young age. Seventeen, still a child. I am grateful that you were able to find love at such an age, and yet, that makes the loss that much greater.
As I teach your grandpa how to be a lifesaver, how tragic it is, that the only life that he cares about saving cannot be. How quickly I can forget that everyone has a story.
If I could look in your eyes, I wonder what I would see. Anger? Apathy? Acceptance? Are you afraid? I find myself praying for a miracle, and I wonder how many other prayers are being lifted up for you. And I wonder how much time you have left.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
To Trust or Not to Trust...
Where do I go from here with this handful of years
Do I trust again
Or not
All the reasons to go, are reasons you can’t know
But I know you lied
A lot
And just when I’m ready to leave you behind
You say something right
And change my mind
I’m still on guard, just the same as before
Its still just the same
Nothing less, nothing more.
Do I trust again
Or not
All the reasons to go, are reasons you can’t know
But I know you lied
A lot
And just when I’m ready to leave you behind
You say something right
And change my mind
I’m still on guard, just the same as before
Its still just the same
Nothing less, nothing more.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away
In these dreary winter times, I would just like to remind everyone that the sun really is out there somewhere. When I was on vacation this past Christmas, I really enjoyed taking pictures of the sun, its what I miss most in the months that end in 'uary'
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Our Family Story
If you’ve been fortunate enough to visit our lovely condo unit, you know of all the wonderful shenanigans that frequently occur. If not, let me just inform you of a few things you should maybe anticipate. Upon your arrival, you are most likely going to be greeted with the smell of freshly baked cookies, and also probably provided with a delicious home cooked meal. The only purpose of baking sheets is for cookies, just so you know.
You’ll likely be introduced to our pet, Dylan the fish, version 2.0. We really spoil him, and he’s really chill, sometimes we all feed him in the same day, and sometimes over Christmas breaks, he just doesn’t get fed at all. But he knows we love him.
During your visit, if you are to hear a rather loud noise that somewhat resembles a bomb siren, don’t bother looking to the smoke detector, instead direct your attention to the washroom. Our toilet has been giving us a bit of attitude lately, making this atrocious wailing noise at all hours of the day, and night. I suppose it could be a desperate cry for attention.
It is also a good idea to drop by the house during any kind of special occasion....Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Bubble bath Day, and you will play witness to our amazing decorating skills. It really is a treat. However, even if you visit on one of the few days of the year not allotted as a day of celebration, you can always visit some of our themed rooms, such as the science bathroom, the tropical bedroom, or the ever popular 70s living room.
Now, a few words of warning, do not be alarmed if the door is opened by a purple suited individual. If you notice the disappearing and reappearing pole in the living room, do not fear, it is not integral to the structural support of the house. Remember to dodge the rolly green chair zooming down the main hallway. Bring pajamas with you just in case the time if right for a PJ race.
Finally, my roommates and I will be ever so much more gracious if you bring along a gift of chocolate for your visit, or even perhaps a nice can of tomato sauce.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Idea for a Children's Book
Once upon a time there was a little duck, a duckling if you will. Duckling had a brother, and they both lived in a beautiful pond with Mama and Papa Duck. But while Duckling was still quite little, Brother Duck swam away and never returned home. This caused a great deal of anger, hurt, and sadness for the Duck family. None-the-less, Duckling had a fairly happy ducklinghood, minus the no sibling thing, and the fact that Mama and Papa Duck sometimes fought. As Duckling got older, the fighting increased. The little duckling was so tired of all the quacking. Mama and Papa Duck decided that they wanted to swim to a new pond, they figured that might make things better. Duckling did not want to go. Duckling returned to the old pond often, she still called it home. She spent most of her time there, and preferred it there with old friends, to the new pond with Mama and Papa Duck. Then one day, Papa Duck decided that he still wasn't content with the new pond, and that he also was no longer content with Mama Duck. So he left for another new pond alone, without even telling Duckling. And so the 3 ducks lived in 3 separate ponds, and Duckling felt at home nowhere. She felt like her past had just been erased, and like her future had been ruined. Duckling could have created a whole new pond with her tears. She tried to swim after Papa Duck, to convince him to come home. But Papa Duck swam faster and harder than Duckling, and would not listen. Duckling just wanted a home to belong to again. She would have given anything to return to the incessant quacking of Mama and Papa, instead of the terrible silence she was left with. She couldn't figure out why none of this was happening to any of her other duck friends. It didn't seem fair. And she never figured it out. Because it wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, and nothing would ever make it that way.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Cost
One stupid mistake, and its going to cost you. One moment of pure idiocy, or selfishness, or laziness, and it could ruin everything. Who knows what its going to mean for you. I don't know whether its going to cost you time, or your heart, or your future. The stakes only go from high to higher.
The tragic part is, you're not the only one who has to pay the cost. It will be a two-fold payment. There is a second heart, a second life that you obviously failed to consider in that moment. In a rare occurrence, you stand completely alone, on your side, which houses all the blame. You hold full responsibility. There isn't ever a question.
Trust, how quickly you took advantage of it, how quickly you took it for granted. How much different really is trust broken and heart broken? How could you let this happen?
The decision is already made. Not consciously yet, but somewhere knowing and understanding the heart and head made a choice. One surrendered to the other. There were only two choices, each equally painful. Now all there is to do is wait. Wait for the losing part to cry itself out, to cry for what was, what is, and what still might be. To cry itself into submission, and to disappear, leaving only one option. There was only ever one option that could be lived with. Then the choice will be recognized.
Nothing to do until then but wait until what is known is finally understood.
The tragic part is, you're not the only one who has to pay the cost. It will be a two-fold payment. There is a second heart, a second life that you obviously failed to consider in that moment. In a rare occurrence, you stand completely alone, on your side, which houses all the blame. You hold full responsibility. There isn't ever a question.
Trust, how quickly you took advantage of it, how quickly you took it for granted. How much different really is trust broken and heart broken? How could you let this happen?
The decision is already made. Not consciously yet, but somewhere knowing and understanding the heart and head made a choice. One surrendered to the other. There were only two choices, each equally painful. Now all there is to do is wait. Wait for the losing part to cry itself out, to cry for what was, what is, and what still might be. To cry itself into submission, and to disappear, leaving only one option. There was only ever one option that could be lived with. Then the choice will be recognized.
Nothing to do until then but wait until what is known is finally understood.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Some Memorable Quotes from 2010
"What's my religion again?" -Julia
"Maybe the CD rapture came" -Valerie
"Is Chuck Norris Australian?" -Mom
Julia- "Every time I hear the name Gordon I always always think of that green train....."
Krista- "????????"
Julia- "You know, the one from Thomas the Tank Engine"
"I didn't want to pay $17 for a razor that takes batteries!! Now I have to open this thing and see if it blasts off into space of something! *makes Darth Vader noises*" - Mom
"You can eat whatever you want because you have the OneCard (Student Card) that Jesus gave you and its like the 5 loaves and 2 fish!!" -Dad
"Santa Clause NEEDS your minute-flyer(humidifyer)" - 3 yr old Kieran (in July)
"ON STAR, save me from the rapist outside!!!!!!" -Joel
"Is anyone wearing camouflage? No? How about camouflage underwear? No? Okay, does anyone own a chameleon?" -History Prof
"Maybe the CD rapture came" -Valerie
"Is Chuck Norris Australian?" -Mom
Julia- "Every time I hear the name Gordon I always always think of that green train....."
Krista- "????????"
Julia- "You know, the one from Thomas the Tank Engine"
"I didn't want to pay $17 for a razor that takes batteries!! Now I have to open this thing and see if it blasts off into space of something! *makes Darth Vader noises*" - Mom
"You can eat whatever you want because you have the OneCard (Student Card) that Jesus gave you and its like the 5 loaves and 2 fish!!" -Dad
"Santa Clause NEEDS your minute-flyer(humidifyer)" - 3 yr old Kieran (in July)
"ON STAR, save me from the rapist outside!!!!!!" -Joel
"Is anyone wearing camouflage? No? How about camouflage underwear? No? Okay, does anyone own a chameleon?" -History Prof
Friday, January 7, 2011
Distant Courage
One day I'm really going to give you a piece of my mind. One day, when I'm brave enough, you're really going to hear it. One day I won't hold back, I won't try to protect your feelings or my pride. I will explain how everything you've done over the past few years has screwed with me.
Then I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you if you knew. I'm going to ask you if you ever did any of it intentionally. Was this ever more than what we made it out to be? Or was everyone always wrong? Was I delusional?
You're going to answer me, and after all this time, I hope you know better than to lie.
From 30 000 feet in the air, I suppose its pretty easy to find perspective. When you're a world away its easy to find the courage. Its easy to convince myself of my steadfast resolve. But I know that as the altitude drops, so will my surety.
Maybe I'll let you play me for another few years. Or maybe one day I'll just explode. Either way, this has been building for too long. I could fill a book with these stories. Everyday it gets harder to keep my mouth shut, and everyday the stakes get higher.
As I fly home, as every minute brings me closer to you, it also pulls you further away. You're further than when I left, and everyday will be incrementally worse.
Thank goodness you're happy, otherwise I don't know whether I could stand to keep quiet, knowing you're somewhere on the other side of these clouds.
Then I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you if you knew. I'm going to ask you if you ever did any of it intentionally. Was this ever more than what we made it out to be? Or was everyone always wrong? Was I delusional?
You're going to answer me, and after all this time, I hope you know better than to lie.
From 30 000 feet in the air, I suppose its pretty easy to find perspective. When you're a world away its easy to find the courage. Its easy to convince myself of my steadfast resolve. But I know that as the altitude drops, so will my surety.
Maybe I'll let you play me for another few years. Or maybe one day I'll just explode. Either way, this has been building for too long. I could fill a book with these stories. Everyday it gets harder to keep my mouth shut, and everyday the stakes get higher.
As I fly home, as every minute brings me closer to you, it also pulls you further away. You're further than when I left, and everyday will be incrementally worse.
Thank goodness you're happy, otherwise I don't know whether I could stand to keep quiet, knowing you're somewhere on the other side of these clouds.
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