Fess Up

I've been wondering a lot lately if its possible to live a life without regrets. I think regret is such a powerful emotion that it terrifies people. So I understand wanting to live without it. However, I came to the conclusion that its not possible. I don't think its the worst thing imaginable to shoot for, but I can also think of a hundred other things that are more worth our energy.

The people out there who say they have no regrets are lying. Its a little bit conceited actually. Expressing that could either be taken as, "I've never done anything wrong, I've never hurt anyone physically, or emotionally, I've never been selfish or immoral or rude" or it could mean, "Yeah I've done those things, but it doesn't matter, I don't care, I've over it". Neither option is an ideal life outlook in my opinion.

Have you ever noticed that typically people make those grandiose claims of "no regrets" right after they've done something that they probably should regret? I think its often used as a way to shun responsibilities for one's own actions, or to avoid dealing with complex emotions. Because regret truly is a complex emotion. Regret can sometimes feel like guilt, it can sometimes feel like a version of your conscience, it can sometimes transition to embarrassment, or anger, or sadness. Regret is complicated because it can attach itself to multiple outcomes of a choice. There are people who regret doing certain things, and there are people who regret not doing certain things, and obviously these overlap. Apparently its the latter, the regret of actions that never came to pass, that is the most destructive. At least that's what I've heard. I can certainly identify with that kind of regret. I've made an art out of not doing things I would come to regret, and regrets come anyways.

But I think there's can be an upside to regrets, they can teach you something, some life lesson. So I think living life and learning is best. Trying to live life without regrets is probably futile, and saying you have no regrets is ignorant. This is life, mistakes will be made, regrets are inevitable. I think it is better to deal with those regrets so that you can avoid piling up more regrets of the same nature.

Summary: live life, learn from your mistakes, learn from other people's mistakes. Don't walk on eggshells through your life, in the hopes of no regrets. Also don't steamroll through your life with a neon sign saying "Whatever I do, I do with no regrets". And don't be so blind as to think you've never done anything in your life worth regretting, because you have...and I have too. That's the other thing about regrets, its a worldwide phenomenon. We've all got em. Fess up.