Once upon a time there was a cow that lived wild and free in a meadow. Nobody owned her and she didn't owe anybody anything. Sometime though, the cow was lonely and this state was made ever more unfortunate by the fact that she was full to bursting with the most wonderful gift of milk that she longed to share.
Only a short distance away was this farm, I'm not sure what kind of a farm it was, only that it wasn't a dairy farm. On the farm, naturally, there lived a farmer, and wouldn't you know it, one day the farmer and the cow crossed paths.
Initially the cow was pretty stand-off-ish, and the farmer let her be, but continued to visit the cow from time to time in her meadow. He even made it possible for the cow to graze on his farmland whenever she wanted. Now the cow recognized quite a lot of goodness in the farmer and began to view him as a friend. He wasn't the same as a cow-friend, and he couldn't possibly ever know all their was to know about being a cow. He was a different kind of friend, but a friend nonetheless.
Gradually over time the cow began giving the farmer some milk. He never asked for it, but it just seemed like the natural thing to do, and the farmer always seemed very appreciative. Every so often the farmer would reciprocate the friendly kindness, in the form of an apple or other treat, or in the form of a heartfelt word. These occasions were much rarer than the milk-giving reverse, but each time they came to pass they would reassure the cow that there was a mutually beneficial relationship and that she wasn't being manipulated or taken advantage of for her milk. The cow often felt relieved in these instances, because truth be told she didn't want to stop giving away her milk. But she also didn't want anyone to accuse her of no longer being a wild and free cow.
She was still free. The farmer didn't own her now anymore than he did before. However, the cow knew that a change had taken place. She would miss the farmer is he moved away to another farm, or she to another field. And she would miss that fleeting feeling that occurred every so often when she grazed on the farm land. The feeling of belonging to someone besides herself. In a contrary fashion, (because she was a very contrary cow), she also hated these fleeting moments because they exposed her own vulnerability. A most confusing, terrifying and detestable state to be in.
Upon reflection the cow realized 2 things. Firstly, that over time she had come to depend on the farmer in a way, just for his very presence in her world. Secondly, she realized that over time she had given quite an awful lot of milk. Now, of this second point the cow felt no regret. After all, milk would do the cow no good just to keep it all bottled up inside. The point had always been to share that milk with others. But on that first point the cow sometimes fretted. Did the farmer feel any level of dependence on her and her presence in his life, or was there some inequality in that part of their friendship? The cow sometimes wondered why it seemed she was always the one giving and the farmer didn't seem to do a very equal job of returning the kindness. She wondered whether he had nothing to return, or whether he did and hadn't thought of it, or whether he did, and had thought of it, and decided against reciprocation. And then she wondered why she wondered all of this. She wondered why any of it mattered. She wondered whether she would or should have done anything differently to prevent the possibility of an imbalance.
Then she wondered something else, something altogether unlike her. She wondered if the farmer was receiving milk from any other cows. Her logical conclusion was that certainly yes he was, and this irked her for some unknown reason. Shouldn't couldn't figure out if it bothered her because she was therefore not an essential part of the farmer's world, or whether it was because there was the possibility other cow's milk might be preferred to her own. Or maybe she worried that she in fact just been a very naive and inexperienced business cow who had given her milk away for free while all the other cows were charging, or expecting something in return. She hadn't even considered that as an option. Why would she change for her milk? Wasn't free milk the best kind? And what if the farmer wasn't willing to pay anything for her milk? Well wouldn't that put a damper on things. And isn't that every cow's greatest anxiety? That no farmer would ever be willing to pay for milk?
And so what? She had a limitless field to graze in. She could go wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted. She could give her milk to whoever she wanted.
So why not free, to this farmer, for however long they remained in this friendship. And why not push aside all these confusing feelings and wonderings, they just get in the way, and to really delve into them could be dangerous or disappointing. Why go through that? Especially when no one's asking you to. Surely that would be stupid, and if there's one thing she was not, she was not a stupid cow.
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