The End

The week marks the end of something. The end of something good. The end of something important to me. This week has been drawing steadily closer, making me gradually more and more claustrophobic over these past 2 months. Or at least, that is approximately when the countdown started for me. Certainly many other were aware that the end was in sight before myself. And as the date looms ever nearer, facing reality becomes unavoidable. Some await the end with quiet acceptance, some anticipate it with open and optimistic minds. And others dread it with resigned bitterness. However, regardless of our various reactions it comes, ready or not. There are those who have planned ahead, those who have already laid the next stepping stone on their path. There are those who have nothing to carry them through but their faith. Faith that the journey will continue. Faith that the next step will become clear in time. I will pretend that I am sure of anything. I am rarely pushed so far into the unknown. I still feel numb, unresponsive, paralyzed even. There has still not been enough time to process all the countless ways in which this affects my life. Expressing how I feel never seems to get any easier. It is as if I am reading the final few chapter of an incredible and inspiring book. As badly as I want to discover how everything wraps up and fits together in the end, I also don't want to finish the book and have it be over. So I'll like the last chapter drag on and on, savouring every word, but inevitably, I will finish the book. It will be the well written, satisfying ending that I had hoped for. But the satisfaction will be mixed with some sadness in knowing that there no sequel to follow, and even if I was to re-read the book, it will never be the same. Eventually, in time a renewed passion for reading will ignite in me, and I will discover a new book. A different book that perhaps reminds me of the old one, but that grabs my attention and tests my imagination in a whole new way. I'll probably always have a soft sentimental spot for the old, but all things come to and end. Often the phrase "This too shall pass" is used in times of difficulty and sadness. However it applies universally, in good times as well as bad. All things pass, everything is temporary. And as depressing and pessimistic as that may seem, i can find hope in it. This week marks the end of something. This week marks the end of the beginning.