Trying My Best

I'm going to be happy for you, because that's what's expected of me. Not that happy describes what I'm feeling right now, but it's what you want me to feel, and I'll pretend that's all that matters for now. Even if I have to paint this smile on, I will try to be happy for you, because that's what you would do for me. Besides, you don't know any better. I would never want to wreck anything for you, just as you would never wreck anything for me. Never purposefully wreck anything for me. I can't put my bitterness on you, you're not to blame. I can't blame you for your ignorance, for my habit of internalizing. It's not your fault, it's mine. You will remain oblivious so you don't carry a burden you don't deserve. I'll stop wishing and hoping for everythign to be different. My dream come true would mean your dream shattered. I will discard the slightest thought of interfering. You deserve this, I guess. You'll be good together, maybe. But there was never any question about it, no matter what, you would have always won.