Fine Lines

Walk straight, one foot in front of the other, you can extend your arms for balance if you choose, but it shouldn't be that difficult.

Surprisingly it is. It is that difficult.

This is the low balance beam, only a few feet off the ground, no real danger here. A mis-step or a lapse in balance will only lead to a soft tumble onto the forgiving mats I've carefully laid out below. And that happens sometimes, because this is still new to me. Sometime I lose concentration and slip. Sometimes I walk too fast, I get ahead of myself and I trip. Sometimes I want to try something new and I lose control. I know what its like to take a tumble, but I can handle it. It might mean a wounded pride, it might mean a bruise, but its a small price to pay for a mistake. Most of the time no one even notices. Yeah, its a pretty foolproof set up I've got here with my balance beam and safety mats.

Sometimes I get restless though, longing for higher stakes, bigger risk. That's when I think about the tight-rope stretched high above me. I see the girl up there, I often watch her as she makes the task look effortless. Its such a fine line to walk with no net below. I shake my head at her recklessness and yet still I envy her.

I imagine myself in her shoes. I imagine what it would be like to stand with my toes on the edge of that starting platform, adrenaline pulsing through my veins...but then I look down. I see the strategically placed mats down below. Mats that can provide no forgiveness for a fall from this height.

Does she realize that?

Does she know, my gymnast friend, that these minimal precautions are inadequate?

I size up the tight-rope. I know, beyond a doubt, that I will fall off this nearly invisible line. I still sometimes fall from the balance beam. And even if I were able to complete the impossible, even if I were miraculously able to reach the far platform, that would not be the end of this. After that I know, with equal certainty, that I would test fate again and again, as she does, in order to feel that rush. And one day, inevitably, I would fall. Just as one day, inevitably, she will fall. Human error is one of the most reliable facts of life. And when I fall, when she falls from that tight-rope, it will not be to next morning bruises or renewed humility. If I fell it would break me, it might even break my heart.

And so I bring my mind down from that lofty edge, to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. It is a bittersweet adventure we are both taking, as we each walk our own fine lines.