Noise Addict

The phone rings and she answers it, grasping at straws and finding a lifeline. The quiet is shattered and she once again has her fix, for a time. She will drag it out for as long as they let her. There is never a long pause or substantial break in the conversation. She keeps up a constant stream of words, discussion even the most trivial things. What is it about silence that scares you? What is it about being alone that intimidates you? Perhaps all this noise allows problems to be left unsolved. Perhaps it helps you not to dwell on unpleasant things. You even avoid sleep whenever possible. Sleep, the time your mind is most vulnerable. When your subconscious dredges up all the thoughts and memories that you try hard to suppress while you're awake. What are you bottling up? There has never been a secret you've been able to keep except your own. What are you so worried to reveal? Surely you wish to share, but you just as surely refuse. What causes you indecision? You, always so sure, always so unwavering. You, the very definition of confidence, almost to the point of being viewed as proud and vain. But I know that act, I've rehearsed those lines. You're very convincing, but I'm beginning to see the stage lights now. Don't worry, I'll play along. I won't call your bluff yet. I'm not even sure you realize what you're doing, perhaps it's just so ingrained into you. It wouldn't be the first time you have claimed no knowledge of your own actions. So I will smile as you continue to carry the conversation, since you require so very little of me. And when you hang up and the connection breaks I hope that you don't fall back into the fear and hopelessness. I hope one day you find peace and contentment in the silence. I hope one day you will embrace solitude instead of running from it. Maybe one day you will ignore the phone when it rings.