Time Away

Words cannot describe,
The feelings that I keep inside.
And nothing seems to change,
The way I feel about you.

I know I haven't won.
And losing isn't fun.
So I try to rearrange,
My life so it's without you.

There's no more excuses I can make for you.
There's nothing left I'll let you take of me.
And whatever the truth was
It's hidden now in all of the
Time away, from you and me
Time away from just you and me

You didn't really lie.
But I never really asked why,
You just weren't completely honest,
And didn't tell me how you felt.

I'm sick of optimism.
Smiling through your criticism.
Well I'll never be the best,
And I'll never tell you how I felt.

There's no more excuses I can make of you.
There's nothing left that I'll let you take of me.
And whatever the truth was,
It's hidden now in all of the,
Time away, from you and me.
Time away from just you and me

No more excuses I'll make.
Nothing left for you to take.
Whatever the truth was,
It's hidden now.
And all I need is time away,
From you and me.
Time away from just you and me.

All I need is time.

Several Things I Enjoy In Life

1. Driving with the windows down
2. Swimming
3. Chocolate Chip Cookies
4. Majoung
5. Loud Music
6. Holding hands
7. Dresses
8. Sweat pants
9. Singing
10. Real Pictures
11. Red
12. Books
13. Good hair days
14. Dutch Blitz
15. Cucumbers
16. Writing
17. Giving advice
18. Listening to guitar
19. Titanic (the movie)
20. Day Dreaming
21. Roller coasters
22. Tubing
23. Skiing
24. Warm Blankets
25. Winter Nights
26. Looking at stars
27. Scalp Massages
28. Messages on the answering machine
29. Highway Driving
30. Soundtracks
31. Perfect scores
32. Chocolate turtle Cake
33. Christmas Eve
34. Sunsets
35. Long car rides
36. Big Waves
37. Laughing until I cry
38. Crying until I'm able to laugh again
39. Subway
40. Up north
41. Trampolines
42. Campfires
43. Disney movies
44. Being awake early
45. Empty fields
46. Peanut M&Ms
47. The smell of chlorine
48. My car
49. Being pushed on a swing
50. Falling asleep to thunderstorms
51. Rolling down a hill
52. Tans
53. Baking
54. Balconies
55. Diving
56. Hot air balloons
57. Drinking water
58. Getting lost in a story
59. Looking for frogs
60. Being the best at something
61. Buying Cds
62. The way guys smell
63. Peppermint
64. Plaid Pajama Bottoms
65. Huge hoodies
66. Raspberries
67. Marble Slab Cheesecake Ice Cream

I Am Feeling Fine

I haven't really gotten any answers. I don't know any more than I used to. But somehow I'm okay with that now. I can't define this, I don't know what I want, or what I expect. But somehow I'm comfortable in this turmoil. I don't need to know everything right now. The possibilities keep me company. I know that this feeling is new for me, a feeling I didn't realized existed until now. It feels like I'm inside this windowless box, completely alone. But it's not scary, or claustrophobic, or lonely. It's actually nice, I'm completely at ease in the solitude. Then quietly I hear this knocking, and a door suddenly appears. Soft knocking, coming from the other side of the door. Somehow I just know that the door is unlocked and I can open it if I want to. But the knocking isn't impatient or demanding immediate attention. Whoever's out there isn't in a hurry. And I'm in no rush to leave either. But I know that if and when I open that door, it'll all still be okay. Now how does one put all that into one word? I am feeling hopeful, I am feeling peaceful, I am feeling fine.

My Dark Place

Have you ever wondered why all this unfortunate stuff happens to us? Where the justification is for all the crap we go through? Have you ever felt like you've endured more than your fair share of tragedy or heartache? If you've ever been there, then you know what it's like to be in a dark place. I think we've all been there at some point. Our dark places may not look the same, but they all feel the same. I've been in a dark place recently, and not many people know that. I don't often invite people into that place. There are times however, when you find that you're not alone in the darkness. There is another soul that has lost their way in the exact same pain and grief you've dealt with, the same pain you're dealing with. And suddenly, more than just being grateful for the company, you want nothing more than to lift that other person out of the darkness.
Why is there evil in this world? I can't give you a satisfying answer to that. I can't tell you why bad things happen to us. But it helps me get through it knowing that there's a chance I might meet someone in my darkness one day. Someone struggling with the same thing I've gone through. And there's a chance that I'll be able to say something to help them make sense of it. There's a chance I'll be able to lift them from that dark place. And if there's that chance, if my suffering now will somehow lessen someone else's suffering in the future, then I don't mind it so much. If mistakes turn into experience instead of regret, and hardships instead of weakening me, become the foundation on which I build my character, then I'm going to be okay. Time brings healing, and healing, perspective. And perspective in time may heal someone else.

Predictable

Sometimes I'm oblivious. Sometimes I'm completely out of the loop. But other times I can be so dead on the mark that it's scary. If other people are so tragically predictable, am I this way also?

Same Thing

The things that no one can really live without
The things that no one really appreciates

The excuses that no one really believes
The truth that no one really understands

The money that no one really needs
The money that no one really gives

The dreams that no one really remembers
The memories that no one really wants

The fame that no one really prospers from
The fame that no one really leaves behind

The wars that no one really wins
The peace that no one really keeps

The faces that no one really looks at
The faces that no one really forgets