Just Another Petty Issue

You know what? I do care, so much, about everything. And I'm trying so hard not to be a bad person. I don't want to hate you. I don't want to hate anyone. But maybe it's too late for that, maybe you're just too good at reading me, somehow you know everything anyways. And I don't really care how you found out, I don't really care that you know. Well I do, but I care more about what you're gonna do about it. Are you going to tell the world? Are you going to sit and brood about it like I am? I don't trust you, let's be honest about that one. And I can't stand that you're two faced. I bugs me that you won't own up to your actions, and that you're manipulative. But the worst part is that people still like you through it all. It's not like you're all that hard to see through. And ya, that's pretty harsh, but c'mon you've already judged me pretty thoroughly too. But really, the part that cuts into me, that part that slices right through me, is the fact that I'm jealous. So jealous, jealous of how you talk to him, jealous of how he looks at you. Jealous that you two have something, something I want, with all my heart. But you don't appreciate that, i don't think you love him. Love, do you even know what that means? If you know how I feel, if you could understand even a fraction of how much i care about him, then I'd like to think things would be different. But don't worry, I won't do anything, I can't, but even if i could... I would never purposefully cause him unhappiness. If you make him happy, if you're the one he wants, then I'm gonna have to be okay with that. Even if I don't understand, and believe me, I don't understand. It's not even your problem, we're not even friends. You get the guy and never look back. The guy of my dreams, but no regrets right? So when you catch me staring at you, and him, take it as a compliment, because I'd give my entire world for him to want to be with me. But it's not like the fairytale is it? There's no happily ever afters here, and sometimes the evil stepsister gets the Prince. Don't take offense though, because if you're the evil stepsister then I'm just the village idiot, who got too attached, who loved a teddy bear that could never return her love. He doesn't even know who I am; I mean the real me. It's not like I try to hide that person, I start off each day with a fresh outlook, but the minute I step through those doors, I change. It's for protection. Don't let anyone get too close. Never close enough to hurt me, never close enough to know me. I admire you if you've broken past all that, and maybe you deserve him, maybe I'm a liar. It's not like you know me.