Once upon a time there was a girl. A beautiful but modest, talented yet humble, strong and still gentle, kind of girl. The kind of person no one could find fault with.
There was also a boy of course. And some force seemed to have intertwined their lives. It seemed inevitable, like Simba and Nala. Of course nothing is really inevitable, and forces can be halted by exerting an equal and opposing force of stubbornness and blindness.
Refusing to heed expectations, and to submit to the force pulling him towards the girl, he turned his head, exercising his independence and free will. It was time that he chose his life for himself.
Not surprising, his life choices eventually brought him back to where he had first turned his head. Turning it back he realized the girl had gone, he had taken her presence for granted. In her absence he realized everyone was right all along. He had everything he wanted, before he even knew what he wanted.
This is the price of stubbornness, and this is a story that is thankfully not really at all related to me own life.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Portrait of Singleness - The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
Singleness is my reality. Its the only reality I've ever known. Singleness is a blessing and a burden. Singleness is a state of being that everyone thinks they can relate to and comment on, but few actually can. Beneath faith and family, singleness is the next greatest contributor to making me who I am today.
Being single has had an effect on so much more than the realm of my "love life".
Singleness is never actually being able to love a chick flick or a love song without also secretly hating it. Singleness is stressing over who to bring to weddings and banquets. Its watching the expressions of relatives grow more concerned, confused and pitying each year. Its lots of third-wheeling with friends in relationships. Its dealing with an ever-increasing number of people trying to set you up. Its wishing for the same thing on every shooting star. Singleness is keeping a tight reign on your temper and tongue as people repeatedly tell you, "your time will come", "be patient", " I know what you're going through, I was single once", " maybe you should get out more", "Maybe you should start being the pursuer", " Maybe you should tone down your confidence and opinions, maybe you should tone down yourself". Singleness is learning the finite differences between the various levels of lonely. Singleness is learning to live with a low level of constant loneliness. And if you're not about the attention, and the wallowing, and the pity, then its also about pretending as if it doesn't get to you.
Singleness is finding your beauty and without without the input of a significant other. Singleness is forced independence that you learn to love. Singleness is developing a plan for your life that doesn't necessarily involved another person at any point. Singleness is keeping the dream alive, even though there's never been any glimmer of hope for the end of the singleness. Its trusting that God knows your heart and still feeling the need to remind him. Its waiting without a time limit. Its finding joy in every way that you possibly can to make up for the one way that you can't.
In some ways singleness has proved to be the best life coach, the best character builder there is. In some ways, singleness is my choice. It has been my choice not to date for the heck of it. It has been my choice to be a little traditional as far as gender roles are concerned. It has been my choice to have a few standards that I refuse to change.
So this is for all of you that who ever wondered why. For all of you who have ever told me of your relationship stresses and heard me reference singleness and its own challenges. For those of you who don't have any idea what singleness is. And for the optimist in me, this is a reminder of what this all meant, should me status ever change. This is just a brief depiction of my love/hate relationship with singleness.
Being single has had an effect on so much more than the realm of my "love life".
Singleness is never actually being able to love a chick flick or a love song without also secretly hating it. Singleness is stressing over who to bring to weddings and banquets. Its watching the expressions of relatives grow more concerned, confused and pitying each year. Its lots of third-wheeling with friends in relationships. Its dealing with an ever-increasing number of people trying to set you up. Its wishing for the same thing on every shooting star. Singleness is keeping a tight reign on your temper and tongue as people repeatedly tell you, "your time will come", "be patient", " I know what you're going through, I was single once", " maybe you should get out more", "Maybe you should start being the pursuer", " Maybe you should tone down your confidence and opinions, maybe you should tone down yourself". Singleness is learning the finite differences between the various levels of lonely. Singleness is learning to live with a low level of constant loneliness. And if you're not about the attention, and the wallowing, and the pity, then its also about pretending as if it doesn't get to you.
Singleness is finding your beauty and without without the input of a significant other. Singleness is forced independence that you learn to love. Singleness is developing a plan for your life that doesn't necessarily involved another person at any point. Singleness is keeping the dream alive, even though there's never been any glimmer of hope for the end of the singleness. Its trusting that God knows your heart and still feeling the need to remind him. Its waiting without a time limit. Its finding joy in every way that you possibly can to make up for the one way that you can't.
In some ways singleness has proved to be the best life coach, the best character builder there is. In some ways, singleness is my choice. It has been my choice not to date for the heck of it. It has been my choice to be a little traditional as far as gender roles are concerned. It has been my choice to have a few standards that I refuse to change.
So this is for all of you that who ever wondered why. For all of you who have ever told me of your relationship stresses and heard me reference singleness and its own challenges. For those of you who don't have any idea what singleness is. And for the optimist in me, this is a reminder of what this all meant, should me status ever change. This is just a brief depiction of my love/hate relationship with singleness.
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